I'm drive I can fine osifer
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
