Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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