i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
