so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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