Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
