Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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