he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize