He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
