All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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