Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
