So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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