He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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