She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
