So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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