you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
