i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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