note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
