8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
