just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol