If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.