does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
