And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
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No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
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Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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