cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
