Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
