Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
