My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
