The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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