we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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