You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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