don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
