it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
