I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Randomize
