sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
either way he was missing a nipple.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
