Don't you send me to vm
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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