I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
