My balls are so social today.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
