i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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