The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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