Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
