I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize