I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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