Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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