He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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