My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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