Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
