im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
