The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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