I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
