that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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