his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize