my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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