I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We have so much sex to catch up on
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
