...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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