he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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