I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
