meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
