I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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