i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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