you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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