wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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