Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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