OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
