before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
