oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
