actually, I'm a sock model
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
